A List of Side Effects

By CL Bledsoe

You may confuse a spider’s hunger
for affection, an understanding
of economic principles. Biological
imperatives once relegated to
the trash might flare up at 2 a.m.
when you’re trying to sleep,
reminding you, “Psst, you’re
going to die alone and the whole
thing makes everyone sad when
they think about you.” Bloating
after gorging. A desire to return
to those halcyon days that never
actually existed. You will listen
to the same song over and over
and then wonder why your brain
doesn’t work anymore. May include
bursts of anger at trivial things,
like the guy in the breakroom who
poured water out of the tea pot
so it would boil quicker and then
didn’t refill it when he was done,
people not zeroing out the microwaves
so the next person has to do it, people
who don’t rinse the sinks after
they use them. Pretty much anything
break-room related. Your back
will itch in hard-to-reach places
and no one will help you except
the corner. You won’t stub your
toes on the way to the bathroom
at night, but you will forget to take
that file back to work for three days
straight. Inertia in the evenings.
A manic exhaustion like ants on
cocaine are eating your brain. A
desire to stop, throw it all away,
and go back to the cave you
wasted so many lives in. But don’t.