By CL Bledsoe

A pocket knife is a universal eating
implement. To clean, simply unfold
and wipe grease, rust, etc. on a pant
leg, preferably before using. Wipe

and refold when finished. Vienna
sausages can be speared directly
from the can, placed on a stale saltine
cracker, and eaten in one bite. Potted

meat can be spread, similarly. Lunchmeat
is neither ham nor turkey but some strange
lesser cousin that cost half as much. Fish
it out of the cooler, drain the water

from the package, then place the thin, gray
slices on wadded-up white bread that’s
been sitting in the truck for who knows
how long and yet is still soft. When you’re

done, toss the detritus into a nearby ditch
or the back of the truck so it can spill out
as you drift along the highway at twenty- five
miles per hour, a line of angry cars following.

Stuff My Stupid Heart Likes by CL Bledsoe (co-author of and The Wild Word:

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